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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Still Here

Like most parents of young children, there was something of a build up to 2013 - the year when we would have both children AT SCHOOL.  This was of particular interest to me, having been driven almost totally around the bend by the year of KINDER + SCHOOL = NO TIME to do anything.  So of course, I had great expectations - the year I would get my life back, the year I would get some decent work done, the year I would find balance and find myself and pick up where I left off.
I think I realised once school started (as warned by those that have gone before me) that the sea of time available for work was in fact somewhat limited, more like a medium sized lake.  Yes, I have more time to write - which is excellent. So far I have finished two substantial compositions which have been happily sent off to their commissioners.  I am already way ahead of where I was this time last year. I have two more pieces in the 'starting to work on' pile and I am hoping to delve into my work book of 'pieces I want to make' and actually make some of them.  I have set up a website - something I have been meaning to do for AGES.  And I've done some teaching, joined the school council, started doing yoga again, almost cracked couch-to-5K, built a new garden bed or two and even planted some veggies.  Not bad going. But back to the composing...
In the lead up to this year I made a commitment to myself that this year I would resist the temptation to accept every bit of paid work on offer and give myself permission to refocus on writing music.  Part of me felt guilty about this - would I be pulling my weight, was it an indulgence, or at worst, a kind of laziness?  Of course I know of this is just the crazy ravings of my 'inner critic' - I KNOW that writing music is what I do and is a worthwhile pursuit and something to be nurtured and protected.  But, it is actually quite confronting to let go of some of those security blankets (like a reasonable income) and step out into that sea (or lake) of creative possibility and re-discovery of self.  I wonder if I will keep my nerve?  Will I be able to keep focussed on what I need to do and not be distracted by what I think other people think I should be doing?  I'm going to give it a red hot go.

And my website, surprisingly, is christinemccombe.com.  Have a look.